I just finished putting together the packet of information necessary to obtain a Certificate of Citizenship (obtained through the N-600 application) for Jaden. He has a permanent residence card, court finalization papers, a US passport, and a US social security number. Apparently that is not enough. Our agency really, really emphasized the need to apply for the COC. When I called last week, one of the post-adoption coordinators told me that this will be “the most important” of all of the various official papers Jaden has collected in his young life.
I started the process by Googling “N-600″ and downloading both the form and the instructions. My first pass through was less than successful. The second time through I actually read the instructions. I was left with only 5 questions blank. Then I called my agency. The woman I spoke with directed me to this web page: http://www.legal-eaze.com/index_files/Page1709.htm. It helped immensely. I printed off the provided cover sheets, and went through the checklist to make sure we included all of the necessary items. All I have left to do is go to the bank to get the $420 money order, and I will put this is in the mail tomorrow.
After this, Jaden is really, really going to be considered a US Citizen. We were told he was a citizen on his adoption finalization day, and then again when he received his passport, but I think this time the government means it.
My husband has been on the road a lot recently. This week is no exception. But this week is quite different: Grandpa is here. He drove up to keep us company in Dustin’s absence. This has made both Jaden and I very, very happy. Jaden wakes up each morning and every afternoon and asks for “da.” After I tell him that dad is at work, the very next thing he says is “ba”? To which I answer “yup, he is downstairs.” It has been a life-saver having him here. Another adult to talk with over meals. Someone to help entertain the wee one. An adult to discuss politics with at any turn (we share a passion for this topic.) I could go on and on. It has been great.
It takes Jaden a while to warm up to other adults. But slowly he is sitting closer to grandpa during story time. He is reaching for grandpa’s hand over my hand in parking lots. He is stealing grandpa’s food instead of mine during meal times. This is bonding at its best.
To top all of this off, grandpa pulled off a miracle during nap time yesterday. He broke out a drill, sanding block, bolt, hot glue gun and some plastic and FIXED the garbage can on the garbage truck. He claimed all he did was think “What would MacGyver do?” Nice.
There are some things I am very good at as a stay-at-home mom. For example, I can lead and sustain amazing dance parties to just about any tune. I’m great at singing songs during our seemingly endless times together at the dinner table. I make a top-notch tickle monster. A glaring weakness of mine, however, is in the arts-and-crafts department. My creative genes are somewhat truncated. Actually, I’m not even sure they are there. Regardless, yesterday, I vowed to “do a project” with Jaden. Here are the results:
And the artist when I told him to smile:
For the record, Jaden left the table on 3 occasions in the 6 minutes it took to make this masterpiece. Once to get a tractor, once to get a car, and once to do a lap around the kitchen. Also for the record, I wrote his name. He can’t write just yet. Truly I simply wanted to see how this product worked as the “paint” is clear until it hits the “magic paper.” Everything else is his authentic work. So, in the end, we had a completed project that is now on our refrigerator.
I doubt that one art-ish project fulfills the quota needed by Jaden’s brain at this point to get down and dirty with his creative side. So I am here to ask anyone for ideas: aside from crayons and fingerpaints how does one get arty with a toddler?
6:01 am this morning: My dog jumped off of our bed. I heard him vomit. I woke up to one of those days. My husband had been out of town for 3 days. My child had recently contracted a cold that requires a bucket under his constantly running nose. But my dog is the one who committed the inexplicable act of horror. And it wasn’t the vomit.
Three days prior: I was playing with Jaden in his room. We were getting him dressed. We were getting ready to leave the house. It was about 9 in the morning. I walked downstairs and saw the carnage. Charlie had just consumed some key elements of Jaden’s MFT (most favorite toy.) He ate part of the garbage can (see exhibits 4 and 5 below.) That attaches to the garbage truck. That has entertained Jaden for about 2 hours/day each day since Thanksgiving. It was obvious the can would never attach to the truck again. I saw red. Then I hid the damage. Through my anger I sincerely hoped I wouldn’t have to rush Charles to the vet. He would cost a lot of Alans to fix. We left.
Two months prior: Charlie removed an arm and two legs from the man that sits in the garbage truck (see exhibits 1, 2, and 3 below.) This caused some serious stress in Jaden’s life. We stopped taking the man out of the truck to avoid the inevitable concern on Jaden’s part. We thought that was the worst Chuck could do. We were wrong.
6:05 am this morning: I am scrubbing vomit out of the carpet in the bedroom. I pray Jaden doesn’t wake up. He does. But not before I discover that I won’t have to take Chuck to the vet. I found the missing pieces to the garbage can. Yuck.
3:06 this afternoon: Jaden found my hiding spot. He insisted the truck come back. And now he he cannot talk of anything else other than all of the “oh no’s” that surround it.
And my questions are these: do dogs know? Did he know he was going to methodically destroy Jaden’s favorite toy? Is this revenge for the hundreds of projectiles hurled at Charlie over the past few months at the hands of Jaden? Is this his way of getting back? And, most importantly, is he done?
To see my parents we have to drive 5 hours. To see Dustin’s parents or sister’s family we need to fly. To see my sister and her family we need to drive 10 hours. To see my brother’s family is a 3 hour drive. You get the point. We don’t have immediate family nearby. But we do have close friends. I honestly consider them part of our family. Some live right next door. Some live a 5 minute drive away. Some live an hour’s drive across the metro area. These are the people who we have depended upon and do depend on when we need our parents or siblings but know that isn’t an option based on geography. We had a sleepover with one set of these friends this weekend. They brought themselves and their children. And cookies (don’t get me started — my friend, Erin, knows something about baking that I don’t. I could eat her cookies for 3 meals in any given day.)
We played with toys, watched train and truck videos from You Tube on the big screen in our basement (they have a little toddler boy too), grilled steak, played cards after the kids were in bed, drank some wine, ate the cookies, didn’t get enough sleep, and generally had a wonderful time.
I guess I feel lucky. It is very comforting to have a support system outside of one’s immediate family. A dinner here, a walk there, emergency caffeine sessions: the sum of these things are greater than the individual parts. So, here’s to friends and love and family. And now a few photos.
The cookies. Yum.
Our friends' son loves trucks too. He came to the right house!
One holiday wasn't enough for our friends' daughter. To top off Valentine's Day, she wore a Halloween shirt and constructed a bunny puzzle.
Enjoying some early morning cartoons together. Adorable.
This video is approximately 5 seconds long and features a mid-February gift from Grandma and Grandpa. It is definitely a hit. Check it out, it is guaranteed to make you smile.
Last night Jaden and Dustin played for nearly an hour with a laundry basket. A truck eventually joined the game, but this is inevitable in Jaden’s world. Everything involves a truck. Charlie sat on the sidelines. It was hilarious. And it made me think about less stuff.
A few weeks ago I wrote about our first experience making Beebimbop. I mentioned that we had shopped at all of our local grocery stores and couldn’t get our hands on gochujang, the Korean condiment that accompanies this dish. A few days later I got a phone call from my father-in-law. He was with my mother-in-law at an Asian supermarket a stone’s throw from their home. They had asked an employee to help them find gochujang, and found out there are many varieties of this condiment. The employee proceeded to help them choose three types that would be appropriate for Beebimbop. My father-in-law was checking to make sure that was okay. He said they would put the bottles in the mail. Sure enough the package arrived a few days after this conversation.
Of course we are happy to have the right sauce for this dish. It truly will make it taste better the next time we make it. But that is not what inspired me to write about this today. I really just wanted to get a chance to publicly thank them for taking the time to go someplace that they wouldn’t normally go and learn about our son’s birth culture in this small (but big) way. It just really meant a lot to me. As I have mentioned before, I am learning along the way what it means to be a Korean-American family. My parents-in-law somehow showed me that it doesn’t take much to value all parts of that three-word phrase simultaneously. How did they get so smart?
Winter is tough. Winter near the Arctic Circle is especially tough. I went to the doctor recently and found out my Vitamin D level is scarily low. Is that really shocking? My skin has not encountered a UV ray since August 17th.
Most days Jaden and I are confined indoors. Any change in venue from my living room is welcome. Going to Target is less of a shopping excursion than an entertainment option. I have no qualms about going to the grocery store for one item. I relish the days when I get to pick-up my husband’s dry-cleaning. We do what we have to do to stay sane.
On a slightly more appropriate-for-toddler-level, I do take Jaden to our local gym regularly. They have a kid’s play gym there that is 3+ stories tall complete with two ball pits. I know these ball areas are infamous for their viral contagions/square inch ratio. I can’t say that I really care. The front desk worker told me that they clean the balls once a week. Great! That beats how often I clean the nastiest places in my house.
Here’s the thing: I am a big believer in immune systems (aside from my sister’s…hers is On Notice indefinitely.) There was an article in the New York Times a while ago concerning the fact that kids are too clean these days. The long and the short of the article is that kids do not need to wash their hands every 30 seconds, and that a little dirt is actually good for bolstering children’s immune systems.
So I let Jaden swim around in the cesspool of bacteria and god-knows-what-else. If I am being honest, it is because he likes it and it gets us out of the house. But, if it helps him get a little dirtier…well, I’ll just call it secondary gain.
A week ago our social worker called to check-in with Dustin and I concerning our wait for our second child. There really was nothing for her to communicate, but now that we are nearly five months into our wait it was nice to hear from our agency. Five months. We waited five months for Jaden’s referral, almost to the day. International adoption has been all over the news the past week or so with the tragedy in Haiti. Without delving into the details surrounding this heartbreaking situation, suffice it to say, regulations are different for each country. Paperwork is extremely important. And things change quickly. So while we adopting through the same agency and the same country program, we are well prepared for a different experience. We expect a referral sometime between July and September. So far that timeframe has not changed since we entered the Korea program for the second time back in September.
One thing is due now, though, and I’ve been working through some paperwork for it the last two afternoons. It is the I-600a form required by the US immigration services. This allows for processing of immigration papers to be expedited once our child is matched with us. This particular form is only two pages long. But my pen shook with every answer. These are questions I do not want to get wrong. The paperwork can be so tedious in this process, but it is the only thing that paves the way for our family to grow again. I want to get it right.
I’ll send in the forms and the money tonight. And then Dustin and I will slip back into the quiet and peaceful wait that has defined this part of our lives since September. And we hope that things go as expected, and we know that they probably won’t. And that is okay, because it has to be.
Winter is tough. Winter near the Arctic Circle is especially tough. I went to the doctor recently and found out my Vitamin D level is scarily low. Is that really shocking? My skin has not encountered a UV ray since August 17th.